What Dad's and Husbands want to say

As a father and husband, I too often don't have the words to express my feelings.  It's too easy to get caught up in budgets, work, chores, activities, and everything else that I let steal my attention.  I have a very loving family and they are very accepting of my shortcomings because they love me.  They deserve better.  

Today, while listening to "106.7 The Light", I heard something that every husband and father wishes they could convey to their wife and daughters.  This is my message to my family.

Kim, Kassi, Kalli, and Kelsi this is for you.  Watch the video below to see what I want you to hear from me every day.  I love you!!

You are AWESOME!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWi5iXnguTU

God loves you and I do too!!
John Knight

Is Divorce really what you want?

If you've been divorced this post may offend you. If it does, I'm so sorry because that certainly isn't my intent. But if you are married and especially married with children, this post is for you. We know what the Bible says about divorce and I think so many have heard it so many times that they may tend to ignore it; mostly because, I think, people know that God will forgive them when they do wrong. Given that, I'm not going to reference God or His will. I just want to focus on marriage.

Book after book has been written on this subject so I'm sure that I may not have any original thoughts. Tonight, Kalli and I went to Olive Garden and a lady with her two young girls was eating beside us and she didn't have a wedding ring on. Does that mean she is divorced? No. But going with the odds, she probably is. They were happy and having a fun time but I thought about how sad it was that these girls daddy wasn't with them.

When you first got married and were in love, did you say things to your newlywed spouse like "if we stay together" or "I hope we make it"? I doubt it. Those newlywed emotions run deep and hot, so hot that they tend to cool off after a while. That's no surprise and certainly not a profound statement. What's left when the newlywed feelings aren't so hot is marriage. Too many couples focus so hard on those newlywed feelings that they lose sight of why they have those feelings. They have them because they are with the one that they love and it's exciting to know that you will have them the rest of your life. That is the phrase that too many couples let go of so quickly; "the rest of your life". If your wedding vows were like mine and Kim's they included a "till death do us part" and "through better and/or worse". That is one heck of a commitment, a life-long commitment.

So when couples with children get divorced, what do they teach their children? First, they teach them that it is OK to quit on what is important. We teach our children to not quit. If they start something they can't quit. The more effort a kid puts into something, like sports, the more we encourage them when things get hard. We tell them something like "you've put so much into this, you've worked so hard, please don't quit now or you will regret it for the rest of your life". A friend of mine had a son who wanted to quit a sport during his senior season. He told him that the decision is his son's but he encouraged him not to quit and explained in great detail the impact it would have on the rest of his life. Even though it was hard and his situation didn't get easier, the boy stuck with it. He was glad he did and had no regrets for it.

A divorce also teaches kids that things worth having aren't worth working for. We teach our kids "if it's worth having then it's worth working for". How is the biggest commitment that you've ever made not worth working for? We teach our kids that if you want to be smart, you have to study. If you want to make better grades, you have to study harder. We all want a better marriage yet so many aren't willing to put any more effort into it.

In my opinion the problem boils down to two simple things; pride and selfishness.  I know this isn't new information but I can't stress how important these two things are and how they have no place in marriage. So if I'm telling you to work to keep your marriage, what work do you do? From my own experience, Kim and I spent a lot of time "working" at keeping those newlywed feelings. We spent years trying to get back that newlywed passion that we had. But if you want that fire back in your marriage or if you just want to keep your marriage the work shouldn't be spent on kindling passion and emotions. When you work at those things, you are trying to do work on your spouse. If it doesn't work then you may blame your spouse instead of yourself. The real work that needs to take place in marriage is the work that you do on you.

Most people, if not all, don't want to admit they are selfish. But you show me a failing marriage and I'll show you a marriage where one or both spouses are selfish. What is being selfish? Being selfish is simply putting your wants and needs ahead of your spouses. I'm not talking about serving yourself before your spouse. I'm not talking about spending your money on your spouse instead of yourself. What I'm talking about is when your feelings, your happiness is more important than your spouses. If you are struggling in your marriage, I encourage you to look inward at yourself first. Are you putting your happiness ahead of your spouse? Are you not giving your spouse what they want because "God didn't make you like that"? It's all about effort. Your spouse needs to see that you are willing to do ANYTHING for them, even if it's out of your comfort zone. And I'm really talking about meeting emotional needs not physical needs. Physical needs are important but emotional needs are so much more important. Your spouse needs, I mean really needs to know that you love them and they really are important enough to you that you committed the rest of your life to them.

What keeps people from being unselfish? Pride. Plain and simple, pride keeps you from doing the things your spouse needs and wants. When was the last time you said you were sorry when you really weren't? When was the last time that you held your tongue instead of saying what was on your mind? If you tend to say what is on your mind, even if it starts a fight then you have pride issues. If you never apologize just to keep the peace, especially before a fight starts, then you have pride issues. We teach our kids to take pride in what they do and we should. That kind of pride is good. When was the last time you thought about taking pride in your marriage? Or more, when was the last time that you took pride in your spouse? When was the last time that you felt proud to be married to them?

Marriage is hard, I know. Divorce rates are at 50% or higher inside and outside of the church. You can't worry about statistics and you can't use them as an excuse. A long time ago, I learned that if you wanted to succeed at anything you had to avoid "relative comparisons". Relative comparisons are when you compare what you're doing to someone else. It's when you say "I may not be great but I'm better than my neighbor". In marriage, we can't do that. The only thing that is important in marriage (outside of God) is your spouse. IT'S NOT YOU. You married the person that you're living with (or separated from) with the intention to be with them until you die. So you can't settle for a failing marriage and justify it because it hasn't failed yet like your neighbors did.

Love isn't that passion you felt as a newlywed. Love is the commitment you made to your spouse. Love is "till death do us part" and "for better or worse". If you want to teach your kids one of the most valuable lessons they could learn, show them how to love.

I know it is hard to do these things when your spouse isn't. But I can almost guarantee that if you put in the effort to work on yourself, your spouse will notice. If you haven't seen the movie "Firerproof" or haven't seen it in a while, watch it and watch it soon. Like I said, my thoughts aren't original they just can't be said enough.

I know there are times when divorce can't be avoided like spousal abuse. If your spouse is abusing you, I encourage you to get out now. However, there is a difference between being insensitive and being abusive.

I encourage you, I beg you, to strive for a prosperous marriage. I know you think your spouse is the problem and you may be right. However, if you will look to be a better spouse your efforts won't go unnoticed. It may take a while but it will be well worth it in the end. I can't think of a time when I said to myself "I wish I would have started that fight instead of holding my tongue".  If you need prayer about this Kim and I would be happy to pray for you.  You can reach me at johnkn.home@gmail.com.

If you live completely for Jesus today, you won't regret tomorrow what you did yesterday.
I love you and God does too!
John

Happy Birthday Little Brother!!

Regret!!!  Life is full of it.  In it's simplest form, regret is just the mindset of wishing you would have done something different, usually because of the outcome of a decision.  I try to teach my children to not have regret in life because it is very hard to fix.

My life is full of regret; I wish I would have tried harder in school, I wish I would have been closer to my grand parents whom are all dead now, I wish I would have insisted on playing Line-Backer full time instead of Defensive End, I wish I would have had short hair, I wish I would have tried contacts sooner, I wish I would have taken my relationship with God seriously, I wish I would have maintained friendships...... I think you get the picture.

Now what does all of this have to do with wishing my brother (Jody Knight) a Happy Birthday?  Well its simple, I have a lot of regret when it comes to the way I handled our relationship as children.  Anyone who knows us knows that we have completely different personalities and we always have since birth.  Basically, his personality was good and mine was bad.  I loved my brother but I was jealous of him because he was "cuter" or "nicer" than I was.  When you couple that jealousy with the fact that I was mean , I was more of a bully than a brother much of the time.  

Now don't get me wrong, we had a lot of fun.  We played football, baseball, and Nerf-hoop in our bedroom all the time and we played in the woods, swung on muscadine vines, played in the creek in the woods, went swimming, and rode our bikes a lot.  But for anyone who has ever been in a bad relationship, the memories that tend to stand out aren't the good ones, its the bad.  It would be too easy for me to tell too much about the negative so I think that I will just leave it at "I was mean to my brother, too mean".

After all these years I love my brother very much and I always have.  I have always been very proud of him.  I have the utmost respect for my brother.  He was a great athlete in school, he was was always smarter than me, and he beat me at every video game we ever played.  Now, he is a strong, reliable, Christian man.  He is a loving husband and loving father.  Like me, he isn't perfect but I think he is a lot closer than I am.  I've done what I know to do to let him know that I love him and I know that he knows that I love him.  The problem is that word "regret".  I just can't help but wonder how things would be today (for both of us and our families) if I would have let the love of Christ overshadow my relationship with my brother.

And you?  Do you have any regret like me?  You can't go back and undo what has been done but you can ask for forgiveness and then move on. Maybe you were on the other end of the stick and you are harboring hard feelings because of the way you were treated.  You must forgive.  

Regret isn't healthy but it is a fact.  All we can do is live our lives from this point on with no regret.  If you live today completely for Jesus, then tomorrow, you won't regret what you did yesterday.

I love you and God does too!

Daddy's little Girl

Early this week when I took Kassi to school, I dropped her off at Mary Blount Elementary. When we left our house on Bingham Lane, we kissed Kim and my baby Kalli goodbye. As I walked Kassi into Kindergarten, we talked about all the fun things she would do that day. She gave me a big kiss and a big hug when we got to her class room.

When I got home from work, Kim and I sat at the dinner table with my 6 year-old Kassi and my 17 month old Kalli. Kassi told us about her day. I asked if she had any boyfriends and she said "daddy, I'll never have a boyfriend because I'm going to marry you when I grow up". At this moment, if you were in my mind, you could hear the loud sound of screeching tires coming to an abrupt stop in my head. THAT WASN'T LAST WEEK!!! THAT WAS 10 YEARS AGO!!!

Oh my how time flies. It really does seem like yesterday that my kids were so young. Now, Kassi is 16 and Kalli is 11 and we brought Kelsi into the mix a couple of years ago. It still amazes both Kim and me that we a) have three kids b) one of them is 16 and c) one of them is 2. An 11 year-old maybe, surely we are the right age for an 11-year old. But I feel way to young for a 16 year-old and way too old for a two year-old.

It seems like just early this week, I didn't have to worry about Kassi dating because she was going to marry me and live with Kim and me forever. I know that was just early this week, had to be. Last night, reality sunk in as Kassi and I sat watching her boyfriend play football. When did this happen??!! Early this week, it seemed like my worries about Kassi were "I hope the other kids don't make fun of her for being too tall", "Kassi is a loner, I hope she learns to make friends", "I hope the teacher is good to her", and "I hope she talks to other kids about Jesus". My worries have changed significantly. Now my worries are "I hope Kassi stays away from boys", "I hope Kassi stays away from boys", "I hope Kassi stays away from boys"...I think you get the picture.

The fact is that as Kassi grows up, she is not going to stay away from boys. She is a beautiful, smart young woman and the boys have noticed that. So my focus as a father has changed over the years from "Boy bad, ball good" to "I must pick the right Husband for Kassi. I know you're thinking that I'm crazy for saying that I'm gong to pick her husband and in that sense, you're right. However, when I say that I'm going to pick her husband I mean that it is up to me to see to it that that she only date appropriate suitors.

I want my daughters to marry a man of God and I will do everything in my power to see to that. He must be a man, not that he has to be 6'3" and 225 lbs and can bench press 400 lbs. That isn't the definition of a man. A man, first and foremost, is a man of God. This means he is a protector, provider, leader and a teacher. He must be Godly and holy. He must put God ahead of everything.

Any boy that wants to date my daughter must not only live up to my standards but to God's standards. He will come to the door each time to pick my daughter up and he will come inside to speak with me. He will not wait in his car. He will open doors for my daughter. He will speak to her as though I were standing over them during every conversation. He will read his bible and be prepared for conversations with me about what he has been reading. He will only touch her in a way that he would as if I were with them. He will not use foul or vulgar language. He will not use alcohol or drugs. He will not associate with people that do use alcohol or drugs.

Fathers, it is our responsibility for our daughters to know what a man of God looks like. Does your daughters see you do any of the things on my list that I would not allow a boy to do to my daughter? Do they see you do the things that I said the boy should do? You want to know what kind of husband your daughter may end up with? Look at yourself. If you have a good relationship with your wife and daughter, she is going to want to marry someone like you, good bad or indifferent. Because lets face it, every little girl wants to marry her daddy when she grows up.

I love you and God does too!

Love and Babe Ruth

I ripped off Dennis Rainey yesterday so I thought I would do it again today.  Here is something that I read last month and it has resonated with me ever since.  One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Pet 4:8 "Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins".  I know in my life and my marriage, I have counted on the love of others toward me to cover my sins to offer forgiveness so I try to be careful to do the same.  The story below from Mr. Rainey is a great example of what Jesus was talking about when he said we must accept the Kingdom of Heaven like a child (Matt 18:2-5).
 
I can’t attribute this story to its source, but a number of years ago I read a story about Babe Ruth. At the end of his legendary baseball career, the Babe had become obviously overweight. During one of his final contests, he bungled several fly balls in the outfield and struck out weakly with every plate appearance. Fans who had seen or heard about his once-proud exploits were now quick with catcalls, mocking this man who had hit twice as many home runs as anyone else in baseball.

But as the jeering got louder and louder, a little boy leaped over the railing and onto the playing field. With tears streaming down his face, he ran to the Babe and threw his arms around the legs of the fading athlete. Babe Ruth reached down, picked up the boy and hugged him tight. Then setting him down and patting him on the head, they walked hand in hand toward the dugout, while the jeers turned to cheers. Hardly an eye remained dry in the whole place.

The crowd had been correct in their assessment, of course. The Babe had let much of his athletic prowess go to seed. Yet a little boy had remembered him for who he was . . . and had covered over his errors with love.

This is not unlike what marriage was established to be -- two people saying to each other, "I know you've failed me and disappointed me at times (as I have you), but I'm still going to put my arm around you and tell you, 'I love you.'  i'm on this journey with you one way or the other."

Love covers a multitude of sins...Period!  It isn't pride and it isn't something you earn.  God is Love (1 John 4:8) and this love allows us to forgive.  Love allows us to over look someones mistakes and see them for who God sees them.  God's love is what allows me to see my kids and my wife the way that Jesus sees them.  Like I said to Kassi yesterday, my nature is for everything to be black and white, no gray area.  It is God's love working in me that helps me to get past my human nature and see my family the way God sees them.  It's God's love that lets me know that God has laid hold of (apprehended) them for a reason (Phil 3:12) and I should always do the same.

Judge not lest ye be judged (Matt 7:1)

I love you and God does too!

The good and bad of AAU

The Good: I want to start this by saying that I am a full supporter of AAU basketball. I thoroughly enjoy watching Kassi play against VERY good competition. She has certainly became a better player because of her experience in AAU. She has played with and against some of the top tallent in the country. Unfortunately, I don't get to see all of her games because I work.

The Bad: I miss my girls! Because I don't get to go to all of her tournaments, Kim goes. That means that I have to be without my wife, my cook, my care-taker, and my best friend for days. Kim is the best wife ever. I think one of the things I like best about her is she laughs at all of my jokes. Any body that knows me knows that I have a hard time being serious AND I have a very dry sense of humor. Kim knows my jokes and even when they may seem untimely, she laughs. Not only does she laugh, she smiles. One of my favorite things in the world is to make my wife smile. She has the most beautiful smile in ever.

The Bad: I find myself not disappointed if Kassi's team gets beat early so they have to come home early. This week's tourney in Nashville was a Sunday-Wednesday tourney so they pulled out at 8:20 am on Sunday. Kassi lost their first game so they will be home tomorrow. I hate that I'm not disappointed but when it comes to my time with my family, I am very stingy.

The Good: Kassi loves basketball like I love ice cream. She can't get enough. Last week, she was shooting every night until after 11:00 pm (she started each night around 8:00). AAU gives Kassi an opportunity to play against great competition almost every weekend (my diet doesn't let me have ice cream as often). She gets so excited before every game. I wish I had been as dedicated to get better at football when I was her age.

The Good: AAU provides Kassi exposure that she wouldn't otherwise get just playing High School basketball. She is already getting letters from D1 schools that saw her at AAU tournaments. I am very proud of her.

Summary: AAU is great but I'm jealous of the time I'm away from my girls. This week is the last tournament and I'm glad. I'm glad I won't have to be without my wife again until next year and I'm glad that Kassi will get a break...whether she wants it or not.

I am first and foremost the spiritual leader in my family. I am their protector and provider and I don't like being in positions where I can't protect them. I miss you Kim and I can't wait until I get to hold you and make you smile tomorrow!

I love you and God does too!

Missing my girl

Kim is away with Kassi at a basketball tournament and I'm missing her.   Last week, I was away from her for one night so I drove to Nashville to be with her.  This week, its Cincinnati and three nights instead of two.  It just wasn't possible for me to be with her...I'm dying without her.

Why am I'm telling you this?  Well, I don't know, other than it seems to make me feel better to write it down.  I miss my girl.  When she is away, I'm lost.  I have sat around all day with Kalli and Kelsi not knowing what to do.  The only thing I know to do is play with them outside and with the heat today, that just wasn't possible with a 2-year old.  Kim would have known what to do today.  Heck, if she were here, I probably would have too.  Without her, I'm just lonely.  Kalli is good company and she and Kelsi are fun but it just isn't the same without Kim.

I hope she and Kassi are having fun.  As for me, I started counting down the minutes until she gets home as soon as she pulled out of the garage yesterday.

I love my baby!

She's coming home!

Kim and Kassi have been gone since Friday. Kassi had an AAU tournament in Suwanne, Ga this weekend. I couldn't go because we had a huge upgrade going on at work so I had to stay home just in case there were problems. I hope we don't have to do this again!

Don't get me wrong, I've gotten some good Kalli/Kelsi time in. Friday, Kalli stayed the night with a friend so it was just Kelsi and me. She is a lot of fun and all we did was play until she went to bed. Saturday, I took Kalli to Bass Pro Shop and then we went on the hill behind Smokies park and watched an inning of baseball...for free! Kalli thought this was the coolest thing and I enjoyed it too. Kalli was the cutest, she thought we were really getting away with something. But nothing, I repeat NOTHING compares to Kimmy time.

When we are apart, I have the hardest time going to bed. I sleep OK, I just can't seem to make myself go to bed without her. Its funny, we are appart over 10 hours everyday but as soon as I knew she was gone on Friday morning I was missing her and I've missed her ever since. I may be different than others (I hope not) but I don't look at this time as "me" time. I look at as I'm mising out on "we" time. But now, she is on her way home. She should be home by 7:30 and I can't wait. I miss my baby when she is gone but oh how I love the feeling of her embrace as soon as she gets home. There's nothing like that hug knowing she has missed me just as bad as I missed her. I'll love Kim forever no matter what but she sure makes it easy to love her because the way she loves me.

No matter how great your kids are, and mine are pretty darn good, your world has to revolve around them. Kids are just needy by nature. Kim is selfless. She puts me ahead of herself so that just makes me want to put her needs ahead of my own even more. I love my beautiful wife and I can't wait to see her. Two hours and counting!

I love you and God does too!

Coach K(im)

I came home from work on Monday to the cutest and most beautiful sight. Kim and Kelsi had been working in Kim's flower garden. I can't tell you how cute it is to see your gorgeous wife in work gloves with dirt on her face. Funny thing is that the first thing I noticed was her big smile. I don't know if it was becuase she was happy to see me or because she was having so much fun planting her flowers with Kelsi. You just have to picture an almost two year-old working as hard in the dirt as her mom, it was priceless. With Kassidi, Kalli, and coach K's basketball schedule I don't know how she found time to plant flowers but she did.

I changed clothes and me, Kassi, and Kalli all pitched in either helping with the flowers or watching Kelsi (thanks Kass!) and we had a great family night. As the sun was fading and I was weeding another flower bed, I hadn't noticed that Kim disappeared. I was disturbed from my work by the smell of frying bacon. Kim had made us BLT's. Now I don't know about you, but I really enjoy a good BLT, ESPECIALLY when someone else makes it.

As I was eating, I looked over and there Coach K was folding clothes. Now Kim had been working outside longer than any of us and she had made dinner so if anyone deserved a break it was her. Nope! There was work to be done and a family to take care of.

Flowers, dinner, and laundry. I'm not saying Coach K is perfect, but who is? But heaven knows that she is as close as it gets as far as I'm concerned. God has truly blessed me with an amazing wife. More importantly, He has blessed my children with a remarkable mother. She sacrifices more for her children than any other mother that I know. I pray for Kim daily but I also pray for myself. I pray that God will teach me and help me to love Coach K the way that she deserves.

Husbands, I encourage you to stop and think about what your wife does for you and your family. Please take the opportunity (besides her b-day, anniversary, or mother's day) to remember her and thank her. She may not be perfect but she is your wife. Love her the way that she deserves....the way Christ loves the church.

Thank you God for giving us Coach K!

I love you and God does too!

I met a Real American Hero

In this life, there are little moments that just happen to us and we don't know why, but when they are over you sure are thankful for them. I had one on Monday, the day before Valentines day. I was eating lunch at Ryan's (great for the low-carb & cheap eater) in the back like I always do. I like eating in the back because there is usually no one back there, I guess because its not as close to the buffet as other spots. When I went to my usual table, there was one old man back there by himself. I said "hello" and sat down to lunch.

About five minutes went by when this man, Mr. Miller, came and asked me if I was with the POW meeting. You see, he thought Monday was the day for the area POW's to get together. Apparently he got the wrong date because he drove all the way from Kodak for this meeting and he was a bit disturbed that no one else was there. I told him no but I sure was thankful for his service in WWII and I was happy to be in the presence of a real American hero. I asked him if he would join me for lunch and he did.

I didn't have to worry about making conversation, Mr. Miller was happy to tell me all about his life. He told me that he had been taken captive in Italy and he weighed 188 lbs. When he was liberated 14 months later he only weighed 71 lbs. He told me that after just a few days in the camp he decided that he didn't want to come home at all. He said that if he didn't want to come home, he wouldn't look forward to being rescued and his time would be a little less miserable. He told me that when his ship landed in Boston, he kissed the ground because he was so thankful to be back on American soil.

I loved this story but for me, it just got better. He then proceeded to tell me that he just buried his wife of 65 years in November. This was my chance to talk to him about Jesus. I asked him if he was saved and he told me "ohhhhhh yessss". He said he wasn't perfect but he did the best that he could. I said, "I bet you sure loved your wife a lot, didn't you"? His eyes got very misty and he said with a whimper "ohhhh yesss". He then told me how they started.

He met his wife in N.C. right after he got out of the Army. He said that he was "hitting the bottle pretty hard" when he met his wife. After they had been dating for a week, he picked her up to take her home and she told him that they needed to talk. He said that she was so beautiful that he just knew that she was dumping him for someone better. Instead, she told him that her father was a baptist minister. He told her that if she was going to keep dating that boy he had to quit drinking. Mr. Miller said he had just bought a 6-pack of beer and he had already drank one. When she told him that, he said "I can still take you to the very spot on the side of the road where I pulled over. I grabbed the five beers that I still had left out of my '36 Ford and I flung as far into the woods as I could and I haven't drank a drop since".

Mr. Miller knew what love was and knew that it was sacrificing his vices for. We continued to talk about his wife and her burial and all that he had to go through. He told me about the three trips he made to N.C. the week she was buried. I was truly blessed to have gotten to spend an hour of my life with this 88 year old American hero. He reminded me that love can be forever if you are willing to compromise. He also showed me that after 65 years of marriage, you can still be in love.

Thank you Mr. Miller for sharing a meal with me. I hope that all of my friends that read this are lucky enough to meet a Mr. Miller.....before they are all gone.

God bless Mr. Miller and God bless the U.S.A.

God loves you and I do too!

A Valentine for Kim

Words can never describe how I love my wife. Well, there probably are words but I'm not a poet or a song writer that can put my thoughts into words that describe my emotions for and my commitment to Kim. Words always fail my true feelings for her. I think today if I had to pick one word to sum up my entire feelings it would be GRATEFUL. Grateful to God for giving her to me and grateful to her for loving me. I live in the country so if I went outside and screamed "I LOVE KIM KNIGHT" no one would hear. So, if you decided to read this blog, I'm gonna scream it to you and here goes:

Kim,
It seems like yesterday when you saved me. That's right, you saved me. You saved me from the man I was and the man I was becoming. I had just came out of a failed relationship that I had hung my hopes on. When I was let down, I decided that I could never give my love, my trust, to any woman ever again. I was content to play softball then go play basketball with Jon Sweet until all hours of the night until I had to go back to an empty house where I was alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. That's all I felt and I was content with it. If I was alone, I could not be let down. And then, when I least expected it God sent me you.

You weren't looking for anyone either when God sent you to me. But when you found me, you had compassion on me. You had patience with me until I could learn to trust you. Even though I was just a shell of a human with nothing left to give, you gave me everything you had in hopes that I could return it. I'll never forget the 7th inning of the Atlanta Braves game, sitting in right field when you leaned over with a simple whisper "I love you". I remember melting inside at that moment. I had such an inner turmoil because I had told myself that I would never love again, yet all I wanted to do was grab you and tell you that I love you too but I didn't. Even though I waited a few hours, you understood. You have always been so patient with me.

Your patience and love taught me how to love. What I thought was once love wasn't love at all. It was merely respect and endurance but there was no love. You are the only woman that I've ever loved and I couldn't have loved if it weren't for you. I am so grateful that you saved me many years ago. I am so grateful that you have taught me how to love unconditionally and without reservation.

After all these years that moment in Atlanta seems like yesterday and yet even today, I still have that melting feeling inside, that "I'm in love with this woman feeling". Yes, we've had our ups and downs but that is what helps us to grow even closer. We hang on too each other through the downs because of love and we are rewarded with tremendous ups. There is one thing that is and always will be constant in my life (besides Jesus of course) and that's Kim Knight. I know that you will always love me and I want you to know that I will always love you. That's right, ALWAYS. We have learned to accept our differences and forgive each other no matter what. I know that your strengths compliment my weaknesses and vice versa.

You are truly the woman of my dreams and I promise to spend the rest of my life loving you. Every day with you is a new experience, even if we are doing the same-old-things. Thank you so much for loving me and saving me from myself.

Your loving husband,
John

God loves you and I do too!

Thrive or Survive....marriage

Men, at what point in time do you stop looking out for your wife? I'm sure you answered with a resounding NEVER! We should never stop looking out for our wives. We should never stop considering their feelings.

Starting in February, I hope to be leading a men's Life Group at my church (rio180.com) which will focus on marriage. In preparation for the class, I'm thinking about certain topics we need to cover and what I've learned about them in my own marriage. I'm not the best husband now, but I used to be a lot worse until Kim taught me how to be a good husband (btw...I'm still a work in progress). Early in our marriage I had behaviors that Kim tolerated for a while, hoping I would change on my own. Finally, she let me know that my behaviors hurt her feelings. Over time, I had built a wall between us that had to be tore down. I created hurt, on accident, that had to be mended. Not only was the wall between Kim and me but also between God and me. I had to tear it down, and I did. Now that I treat Kim with the respect she deserves, my marriage is flourishing and we both are happy. My former behavior was a habit, the way I had always been. I acted this way without knowing it. Now, the respect I show Kim is a habit. I would never hurt her.

As I research and think about my class and I observe husbands at work it is clear that A LOT of men don't always think about their wives feelings. Unfortunately, I'm talking about men that profess to be men of God. I witness occasions where talk may be a little too friendly....but no harm. I see men taking a second look at an attractive woman and then make the comment "I'm married, not dead". Have you made that comment? If you have, you were in the wrong. I've heard men say that they would do the same thing even if their wife was there because "she wouldn't care". That's even worse. Men, if you think your wife doesn't care if you talk friendly to another woman or that you take a second look, you are a fool and are fooling yourself.

Ask yourself, why would my wife not care that I look at another woman with the same look that I do or used to look at her with? God said have "no other gods before me". Your wife should say "have no other women before me". Men, it is time that we stop settling for a marriage that survives and start working toward a marriage that thrives. To do this, you must make your wife the #2 focus of your life behind God.

#2 focus in your life doesn't mean that she is #2 when she is around or when she may be watching. That means that behind God, she should be where your affection and thoughts are all of the time. If as men we will focus on being good husbands when our wives aren't around, that will certainly make us better husbands when they are around.

Here are some simple rules to put into place to begin working toward a marriage that thrives:

1) Don't ever let another woman catch your eye....EVER!
1a) This goes for TV too.
1b) Even if your wife isn't around.
2) Don't have a conversation with another woman that you wouldn't have in front of your wife.
3) Don't share your marital problems with another woman.
4) Don't let another woman have your thoughts.
5) If your wife tells you that she doesn't mind you breaking these rules, she is lying.

This list isn't all-inclusive but it is a good place to start. Now start thriving.

God loves you and I do too!

A Love Note to Kim

This blog is just for Kim. So if you aren't Kim Knight you probably won't get much out of this.


Kim,
I'm so sorry that you were sick this week. I wish that I could do as good of a job taking care of everyone the way that you do. You have the biggest heart of anyone that I have ever met. You love everyone so good, especially your family. Watching you fight through your pain so you could take care of Kelsi was so inspiring to me. It's little things you do like this that make me want to be a better man.

As I watch you, day in and day out, take care of us it reminds me so much of Christs love for us. He sacrificed everything so that we could have it all. That's the way that you are. You sacrifice your time and energy taking care of me and the kids and it does not go unnoticed. You made sure that Kassi and Kalli could read before they got to kindergarten and I know you will do the same with Kelsi. You give your time coaching AAU not just because you enjoy it but because our girls have always wanted you to.

I wish I had the capacity for the love for others that you have but I don't because I am not a mother. But one thing I do know is there isn't a man on earth that could love you more than I do. You are always on my mind. I try to pray without ceasing and when I'm making specific requests they are usually for you because you deserve to have everything that you desire.

You and I are definitely soul mates. We love the same things. No one could appreciate a sunset with me like you do. No one could understand my excitement and disappointment with University of Tennessee sports like you. We are always thinking the same thing at the same time. You make me feel like the best husband in the world even though I know that I'm not even close. No one I know would peel, devein, and cook shrimp for their family even though that the thought of shrimp makes them sick...except you. Only I can understand and appreciate your love and excitement for dolphins when we go to the beach. Only you could appreciate a first date at the river.

I love everything about you. I love your sweet voice. I love your beautiful blue eyes. I love how you snuggle next to me every chance you get. I love how you include me in every part of your life. I love how we are best friends and I can tell you everything. I love that you know the worst thing about me and you love me anyway. I love how you laugh at all of my jokes. I love how you feel safe with me. I love how you make me feel stronger than I am. I love how you make me feel smarter than I am. I love how you make me feel more handsome than I am.

You are the most perfect wife in the world and I promise I will always love you the best way that I know how.

God loves you and I do too!

Just for men, Part 2

Last week I made the mistake of telling Kim that for a moment I was feeling selfish and was wanting some "Me" time. Today, she had taken the girls shopping and told me that I had to stay home. I had some things I wanted to do like cutting up a tree that fell during the storms last summer so on the surface this seemed like a good idea. But yesterday, as my "Me" time grew closer, I wasn't liking the idea. We woke up today to rain so I can't do what I had planned on doing. OK, I decided to clean the garage. Well, that hasn't panned out either because I miss Kim so much that I have found myself mopping hoping it will please her.

Men, what do you do with your free time? Is it spent being selfish, glad to have some "time away from her"? I'm no saint and I'm certainly not a perfect husband or father but over the last year I have made God truly #1 in my life. By doing this, I have found a new-found love for Kim. I find myself thinking about her more and more every day. How do you think about your wife? Is she a nag to you? Do you dread time alone with her? Do you find yourself working over at work not so much for the money but just to be away?

It is time that Christian men stand up for what is right in their family and start loving their wives like Christ loves the church (Eph 5:25). Jesus didn't take a day off. If He ever had "Me" time it was to get away and pray for the church (John 17:6-26). How often do you get away just to pray for your wife?

Men, I encourage you today to take a long look at your relationship with your wife. Do you argue with her? Do you stop at nothing to please her? Do you admit you're wrong and say you're sorry even if you know you're right? Men, your marriage goes as you go. If you want a Godly marriage you must be Godly yourself. If you want your children to be Godly, you must be Godly yourself. I'm not saying you have to be perfect, God knows that I am far from it. It is just so important for your wife to see that you are trying to be.

My wife is awesome! She takes care of me better than anyone else could. But in the last year, since she has saw a change in me, I have saw a change in her. She doesn't let me lift a finger around the house anymore. Laundry has been my chore the entire time we have been married. In the last 6 months, I have washed no more than 6 loads because she wants to take care of me. Is that a big deal to me? You bet it is. Kim has always been an awesome wife doing everything imaginable to take care of me. Laundry is the one thing that I did that she didn't do. So it's the one thing that she could take off me.

If you change will you see changes like this? Yes! Your wife will love you so much better when she sees you trying your best to love God and her the best way you know how. And if you don't know how to love her better, ask her. Ask her sincerely what you can do to show your love to her more. 1) If you truly are loving her more, it will come to you and 2) if it doesn't come to you, she will be happy to tell you once she sees you being a better man

I'm not trying to brag or make myself out to be an expert because I'm not. I am only giving you my testimony and my personal experiences. It's up to you whether you want to take my advice. I dare you to ask God his opinion.

God loves you and I do too! and Kim, if you read this, please hurry home :)

God's little surprise today

I have had Unconditional Love on my list of topics that I wanted to discuss on my blog for a long time.  Yesterday, God finally led me to discuss it and gave me what to say.  For those of you that don't know me, I'm not much for preparation.  So when I blog, I just sit down with the computer for 10-30 minutes and just type what is or has been on my mind.  Yesterday was no exception.  I knew at some point I wanted to share my thoughts about unconditional love and yesterday I finally had the opportunity.  As I sat down and began to type, God just began to show me things and speak through me.  As much as I have considered unconditional love I have never paired it with "for better or worse" until last night.

I've always said that God has a sense of humor, especially when it comes to me anyway.  After he showed me what to talk about regarding "for better or worse" last night, He decided to put Kim and me to the test so He compelled us to renew are vows today.  Yes, you read it right.  We renewed our vows today.

All of our marriage, we have both shared the view that renewing of vows was at best corny and more often than not, just stupid.  Even in the movie "Fire proof", as appropriate as it was, we both thought it was kind of dumb.  God showed us the error of our thinking today.

I took today off, Kassidi and Kalli had school, and Kelsi was with her Papaw (Chalk) all day.  Kim and I were talking about what we wanted to do and Kim said "I'd like to do something memorable today".   Kim and I did a turn-around in our marriage on January 4, 2011 by deciding to recommit our lives and our marriage to God.  This decision has led us through a process that has brought us closer to God than either of us has ever been either individually or together.  Although it went against what we would have ever done, we decided that today was the perfect day to recommit ourselves to each other and renew our vows.

Now, I know what you men are thinking because I thought the same thing.  You're thinking that I did this just because Kim wanted to.  You're thinking that I did it just to make her happy.  Well, this time, you're wrong.    Kim and I love each other with all of our hearts and we wanted the chance to kind of make it official with God.  The first time we got married, we were so excited (and dumb) that we just went along with the standard vows.  It really didn't matter to us what the vows said because all we cared about was getting married.  This time, the most important thing was to make up our own vows so we would know that we believed in what we were committing to.  I don't feel led to share our vows now because they are so personal to us but I will tell you that we both promised to love each other for ever, even during the times when we didn't want to.

If you are serious about committing your marriage to God and truly having a Godly marriage I think that renewing your vows is a good thing.  I don't know that I would start with it but you and your spouse can decide when the time is right.

If you have any questions about our experience, feel free to leave a comment on this blog or email me directly at johnkn.home@gmail.com.

God loves you and I do too.

For better or for worse...Really?

Have you ever given unconditional love?  Have you ever received unconditional love?  We think of God's love as unconditional.  We think of the love one spouse has for another as unconditional.  If the love between man and wife is unconditional both ways, why is the divorce rate so high even among Christian couples (38% - 42%)?

One of the things that we accept as truth about unconditional love is just the simple definition that unconditional love has no conditions, the love I have for Kim has no conditions, she doesn't do anything to deserve my love nor can she do anything to keep me from loving her.  The character Quincy on "Meet Joe Black" said it best when he said 'she knows the worst thing about me and it's OK'.  His wife knew the worst thing about him and she loved him anyway, in spite of his short coming.

This is extremely noble but it has an inherent flaw.  This line of thinking assumes that the giver of unconditional love always WANTS to give the love even though it may or may not be deserved.

What happens when one spouse no longer wants to give unconditional love to the other?  Our topic just got a little deeper.  I know that most of my thinking regarding unconditional love has placed the lack of deserving conditions on the person receiving the love.  What about the giver of the love?  As married people (or those in or looking for serious relationships) we must realize that unconditional love doesn't just mean that "I'll love you even when you don't deserve it" but it also means that "I'll love you even when I don't want to". 

You see, when we think about God's unconditional love, we want to make ourselves the center of that love.  When in reality, unconditional love is more about the giver than the receiver.  Now, let's get back to that divorce rate.  How many marriages could be saved if both spouses thought about unconditional love from a giving perspective rather than a receiving perspective?  It's a heck-of-a lot easier for me to love my spouse when I want to rather than when I don't want to.  Did any of you married folks use "for better or for worse" in your wedding vows?  Kim and I did.  Let me give you my spin on "for better or worse".  Rather than saying "I take thee Kim to be my bride for better or worse..."  I should have said "I take thee Kim to be my bride and I promise to love you when you deserve it and when you don't and I promise to love you when I want to but especially when I don't".   

And really, I should be speaking from Kim's point of view.  If you know me and you know Kim, you know that I got the better end of the deal in this relationship.  She is smarter, better looking, better tempered, a better cook, and a better parent than I am.  She is much more loveable than I am.  I can guarantee that she has taught me about unconditional love.  There have been times in our marriage when I didn't deserve her love and worse, there have been times in our marriage when I was so unlovable that she just didn't want to love me.  She has always known how to love me unconditionally and that is why we aren't part of that divorce rate. 

You may have a perfect marriage or you may be struggling.   Either way, I encourage you to look to God for your strength like Kim does and love your spouse whether you want to or not.  Don't be another divorce statistic.  Also, teach your kids how to love like this by loving your spouse like this in front of kids.  If we really want to save our families it must start with us.

God loves you and I do too!

The "Christian Family" Part 2, what God wants

Yesterday I explained in general how I believe that the typical or cliché “Christian Family” lives.  I did this because, in my opinion, this way of living is aiding the destruction of Christians today.  The reason I believe this is that the devil isn’t in a hurry to destroy you.  Yes, he came to kill steal and destroy (John 10:10) but he doesn’t care if he does it today or tomorrow.  His ultimate goal is for us to go to Hell.  If he can make our lives miserable along the way then that’s an added bonus but that isn’t his end goal.  The best way to destroy the body of Christ, the Church, is from within using the family structure.  So today I will discuss briefly what I believe that God wants out of our Christian Families.

First and foremost, God wants us to have a personal relationship with him through his son Jesus.  He just doesn’t want to hear from us or be on our minds on Sunday.  Remember the “pray without ceasing” part (1 Thes 5:17)?  This is a big part of that relationship.  Think about the most important relationship you have on this earth.  It may be with your mom or your dad.  It could be with a friend or your kids.  If you’re married, I hope it’s with your spouse but if it isn’t, you should at least be honest with yourself for this exercise.  Thinking about this most important relationship, how often do you nurture it or how often do you take advantage of it?  How many things do you encounter throughout the day that reminds you of this person in a good way?  How often do you talk to or want to talk to this person?  God wants this kind of relationship with you.  If parents have this kind of relationship with God, their children will know it.  I guarantee that your children know exactly who your best friend is. 

Next, he wants you to be “prayed up” if for no other reason than to have indescribable peace (Philippians 4:6,7).  But He just doesn’t want those times of earnest prayer (which He does want) but he also wants those times when something reminds you of Him and you thank Him for it.  He wants to be that most important relationship that you thought about earlier.  Having a heart or attitude that prays without ceasing is the best way to maintain your daily Christian walk.  Now with all of that said, he does desire those times when it is just you and Him and you are pouring your heart and soul out to Him.  Maybe it is a time of praise or a time of bearing your soul, but either way He desires that alone time.

God wants us to have great marriages.  That’s why He has rules in place to protect it.  The purposes for having a great marriage far exceed what I can write about here but the reasons do seem obvious to me but they all boil down to Jesus’ statement that He came that we have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10…again).  When you are fighting with your spouse, do you feel like you are living abundantly?  Abundantly bad maybe.  A solid, loving relationship between husband and wife is the primary basis for what God wants out of a “Christian Family”.  Without that true love (not lust, infatuation, or the “in-love” feeling) the “Christian Family” that God wants will become the complaisant family that many see today where husband and wife begrudge each other.  One of my most favorite scriptures is Matt 22:36-40;

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”  37Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

If husband and wife can have this kind of love for each other, the devil CAN NOT destroy your family!

God wants moms and dads to work for him.  God not only wants part of your money (tithe) but he wants your time too.  He wants you to show Him that you love him through your works; “faith without works is dead” (James 2:17).  Read James chapter 2 and you will see that not only should we have faith but God wants our works or our actions too.  He wants us to do everything as though we are doing it unto Him (Col 3:23).  He wants us to talk about Him and spread his word (Mark 16:15).

This is what I believe God wants from us.  Does it exist?  Yes.  If you aren’t living this now, can you?  Yes.  It is never too late to conform to God’s will.  If you really want to make a change and have an impact for God, start at home.  Start with Matt 22:36-40 and go from there.  If husband and wife will love God first and then love each other, I believe God will bring peace to that family and allow them to truly start impacting their community.

I’d love to hear your thoughts if you disagree and let me know if you need more information.

God loves you and I do too!

The "Christian Family", Part 1

On November 29^th I promised you “More on this later” in reference to the “Christian Family” attitude.  Maybe I should have referenced it as a lifestyle instead.  If you read this, you may get your toes stepped on and you may think I’m crazy.  You may say to yourself “no family is like this” or “I bet his family isn’t like this”.  One thing is for certain, I think I’ll have you at least thinking about your Christian Family and if so, then I’ve succeeded today.

The typical Christian family attitude or lifestyle, what is it? 

First, it starts with Mom and Dad.  What kind of Christians are they?  As most of us know, many of us are “Sunday Christians”.  On Sunday, they are at church.  As a matter of fact, they never miss a service.  Their Christianity revolves around the church service and their walk with God is measured by how much they got out of the service.  The problem begins when they take their bible back into the house.  It generally will sit, unmoved, until the next Wednesday or Sunday.  A “Sunday Christian” doesn’t think to read their bible because they are just too busy during the week.  They want to read but they just can’t find the time.  Every Sunday they look forward to getting to church so they can finally read their bible when they follow along with the pastor as he reads.

Second, this lifestyle continues with Mom and Dad.  They lack a real prayer life.  Oh they pray before every meal.  They will even sneak in a prayer before bed.  But what they lack is that real time with God.  They fail to pray without ceasing (1 Thes 5:17), they don’t have an attitude of prayer.  Praying is something that they do when they need something from God.  A Sunday Christian knows that every good and perfect gift comes from God (James 1:17) but so often, they fail to thank God for them.  Their children have never heard them behind closed doors interceding for them.

Next, the kids…no wait, still mom and dad.  The typical Christian Family lifestyle continues with a lack of relationships at home.  Relationships at home tend to be superficial.  Mom and Dad are obviously tolerating each other most of the time.  The children rarely hear true, heartfelt conversations between mom and dad.  Their conversations may be matter-of-fact and revolve mostly around past or upcoming events like what’s for dinner.  There is very little discussion of how much each parent means to the other and there is certainly very little discussion about how much God has blessed them no matter what’s going on in their lives.

Now the kids?  Nope.  In a typical Christian Family cliché home, there is very little “action” concerning God.  In other words, children don’t see mom and dad actively doing something for God.  Fortunately, even in the worst of these homes, charity still exists so the children at least get to see compassion for those less fortunate.  But past that, there probably aren’t many good deeds being done in God’s name.  When was the last time this families children saw their dad witness to a waiter or when was the last time that mom asked the waitress if she knew Jesus?

As you’ve probably gathered, the kids play no part in this.  The Proverbs 22:6 says “train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it”.  The responsibility rests squarely on the shoulders of the parents.  Now, by now, you are probably asking “ok, how should a real Christian family live”?  Well I’m glad that you’ve asked.  Unfortunately, time has not been my friend today so I will devote my next post to that topic.

Until the next time, God loves you and I do too!

John Knight was dead...

While Kim and I were on our way back from Nashville today I had a nice moment with God that I wanted to share with you.  Kim was busy cooking up shirt orders with her vendor so I was just listening to the radio when "Alive Again" by Matt Maher came on.  As Kim talked on the phone, I just drove and cried because of what God had done in me.  This happens to me frequently while driving so I know other drivers think I must look pretty silly praising God and singing like I'm getting paid to do it.  But I don't care. 

Last Tuesday I wrote about the ups and the downs that we Christians experience.  But what happens if we stay too long in the down period?  Or worse, what if we turn our backs on God when we're in the down period?   Before January of this year, I had allowed myself to reach an all new spiritual low.  I had turned my back on God.  I had turned so slowly, like the hands on a clock, that no one could see me turning.  I had kept God in my rear-view mirror so that I could keep an eye on him to make myself feel better but I had definitely turned my back on Him.   I was more or less spiritually dead and no one knew it.

In January of this year, Kim and I went away for a weekend (after a really big fight) to try to figure out what we were going to do.  After a lot of soul searching and brutal honesty with each other I had to come to grip with the fact that the marriage problems we were having were because I wasn't where I needed to be with God.  That weekend, God "shattered my darkness and washed away my blindness" so that now, I'm alive again. 

I got so emotional today for two reasons.  First, I was soooo happy that God "called and shouted and broke through my deafness" so that I'm alive again.  Second, I was soooo sad that I let God down but more than that, that it took me so long to let Him make me alive again.  I wasted so much time while taking so long to allow God to wake me up.  This song is very dear to me because I can relate so well to being alive again and it always reminds me to "do what ever I have to to break through" to get into God's presence.

Have you ever had an experience like I had today?  Where are you with God today, this very second?  Can you go to bed every night knowing that everything you did during the day was witnessed by Jesus Himself and you have nothing to be ashamed of.  If you did have something to be ashamed of, are you repenting?  I hope so.  If you haven't heard this song, you can visit the link above to listen.

 
God loves you and I do too!

Needle in a Hay Stack Life

Kim's favorite band, Switchfoot, sings a song called "Needle in a hay stack life".  As the title suggests, many of us are or have been leading a life where we are looking for something that is almost impossible to find.  Are you?  Am I?  I can't answer for you but I can confidently answer a resounding NO for me.  When I started this blog, I did it so I could share my faith and what's going on in my life at the moment.  All of my posts have dealt with something that God had been dealing with me about.  Today's is a little different.  Today I want to share my blessings with you.

I would like to tell you that my "Needle in a hay stack life" ended when I got saved when I was 6 years old.  Unfortunately for me it didn't.  That was of no fault of anyone's but my own.  Although I was saved, it was years before I really surrendered my life to Christ.  I made bad decisions, really bad decisions along the way where I gave the devil strong holds in my life.  Sound familiar to anyone?  I would like to tell you that the best thing, besides Christ, that happened to me was a good decision I made on my own but I can't.  I didn't decide to fall in love with Kim Blankenship, I had no choice.  The instant that Kim and I spent time together I knew that she was the one that God intended me to be with and I was instantly in love with her.  It was Kim that taught me how to love, how to love unconditionally, and what true Godly love is.

Needle in a hay stack life?  Not me!  I'm not searching for the impossible.  I no longer have a God-shaped hole in my heart and I no longer have a Kim-shaped hole in my life.  Has our relationship always been perfect?  No.  Will our relationship always be perfect?  No.  But the key for us is that when troubles come, we lean on God and we learn from them.  We try to live our life by some simple advice.  It's my job to make her happy, and it's her job to be happy when it's obvious that I'm trying to make her happy.  That may be a good topic for a post right there!

A lot of people that I know that aren't content and are living that "Needle in a hay stack life" fail to be happy with what God has given them.  They tend to focus on any negative aspect of what they have rather than all of the positive aspects.  If they are saved, they already have found the needle.  The problem is that they don't know how to use it along with the thread they have to sew and patch the holes in their life.  Have you ever tried to sew a patch onto a hole without the needle?  It would be futile.  You must have the needle first.  Christ is the answer, period.  However, for real and practical living we need to know how to use him.  Proverbs 3:5,6 tells us to "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all ways submit to him and he will make your path straight."   You can't just put part of your trust in Him, you have to trust Him with "ALL" of your heart, not just part of it.

I want you to notice that He didn't tell us that we wouldn't have to travel the path and that the path wouldn't be hard sometimes.  He just promised to make it straight.

I wish you all the happiness and blessings that God will allow you to receive.

God loves you and I do too!