Early this week when I took Kassi to school, I dropped her off at Mary Blount Elementary. When we left our house on Bingham Lane, we kissed Kim and my baby Kalli goodbye. As I walked Kassi into Kindergarten, we talked about all the fun things she would do that day. She gave me a big kiss and a big hug when we got to her class room.
When I got home from work, Kim and I sat at the dinner table with my 6 year-old Kassi and my 17 month old Kalli. Kassi told us about her day. I asked if she had any boyfriends and she said "daddy, I'll never have a boyfriend because I'm going to marry you when I grow up". At this moment, if you were in my mind, you could hear the loud sound of screeching tires coming to an abrupt stop in my head. THAT WASN'T LAST WEEK!!! THAT WAS 10 YEARS AGO!!!
Oh my how time flies. It really does seem like yesterday that my kids were so young. Now, Kassi is 16 and Kalli is 11 and we brought Kelsi into the mix a couple of years ago. It still amazes both Kim and me that we a) have three kids b) one of them is 16 and c) one of them is 2. An 11 year-old maybe, surely we are the right age for an 11-year old. But I feel way to young for a 16 year-old and way too old for a two year-old.
It seems like just early this week, I didn't have to worry about Kassi dating because she was going to marry me and live with Kim and me forever. I know that was just early this week, had to be. Last night, reality sunk in as Kassi and I sat watching her boyfriend play football. When did this happen??!! Early this week, it seemed like my worries about Kassi were "I hope the other kids don't make fun of her for being too tall", "Kassi is a loner, I hope she learns to make friends", "I hope the teacher is good to her", and "I hope she talks to other kids about Jesus". My worries have changed significantly. Now my worries are "I hope Kassi stays away from boys", "I hope Kassi stays away from boys", "I hope Kassi stays away from boys"...I think you get the picture.
The fact is that as Kassi grows up, she is not going to stay away from boys. She is a beautiful, smart young woman and the boys have noticed that. So my focus as a father has changed over the years from "Boy bad, ball good" to "I must pick the right Husband for Kassi. I know you're thinking that I'm crazy for saying that I'm gong to pick her husband and in that sense, you're right. However, when I say that I'm going to pick her husband I mean that it is up to me to see to it that that she only date appropriate suitors.
I want my daughters to marry a man of God and I will do everything in my power to see to that. He must be a man, not that he has to be 6'3" and 225 lbs and can bench press 400 lbs. That isn't the definition of a man. A man, first and foremost, is a man of God. This means he is a protector, provider, leader and a teacher. He must be Godly and holy. He must put God ahead of everything.
Any boy that wants to date my daughter must not only live up to my standards but to God's standards. He will come to the door each time to pick my daughter up and he will come inside to speak with me. He will not wait in his car. He will open doors for my daughter. He will speak to her as though I were standing over them during every conversation. He will read his bible and be prepared for conversations with me about what he has been reading. He will only touch her in a way that he would as if I were with them. He will not use foul or vulgar language. He will not use alcohol or drugs. He will not associate with people that do use alcohol or drugs.
Fathers, it is our responsibility for our daughters to know what a man of God looks like. Does your daughters see you do any of the things on my list that I would not allow a boy to do to my daughter? Do they see you do the things that I said the boy should do? You want to know what kind of husband your daughter may end up with? Look at yourself. If you have a good relationship with your wife and daughter, she is going to want to marry someone like you, good bad or indifferent. Because lets face it, every little girl wants to marry her daddy when she grows up.
I love you and God does too!
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