Early this week when I took Kassi to school, I dropped her off at Mary Blount Elementary. When we left our house on Bingham Lane, we kissed Kim and my baby Kalli goodbye. As I walked Kassi into Kindergarten, we talked about all the fun things she would do that day. She gave me a big kiss and a big hug when we got to her class room.
When I got home from work, Kim and I sat at the dinner table with my 6 year-old Kassi and my 17 month old Kalli. Kassi told us about her day. I asked if she had any boyfriends and she said "daddy, I'll never have a boyfriend because I'm going to marry you when I grow up". At this moment, if you were in my mind, you could hear the loud sound of screeching tires coming to an abrupt stop in my head. THAT WASN'T LAST WEEK!!! THAT WAS 10 YEARS AGO!!!
Oh my how time flies. It really does seem like yesterday that my kids were so young. Now, Kassi is 16 and Kalli is 11 and we brought Kelsi into the mix a couple of years ago. It still amazes both Kim and me that we a) have three kids b) one of them is 16 and c) one of them is 2. An 11 year-old maybe, surely we are the right age for an 11-year old. But I feel way to young for a 16 year-old and way too old for a two year-old.
It seems like just early this week, I didn't have to worry about Kassi dating because she was going to marry me and live with Kim and me forever. I know that was just early this week, had to be. Last night, reality sunk in as Kassi and I sat watching her boyfriend play football. When did this happen??!! Early this week, it seemed like my worries about Kassi were "I hope the other kids don't make fun of her for being too tall", "Kassi is a loner, I hope she learns to make friends", "I hope the teacher is good to her", and "I hope she talks to other kids about Jesus". My worries have changed significantly. Now my worries are "I hope Kassi stays away from boys", "I hope Kassi stays away from boys", "I hope Kassi stays away from boys"...I think you get the picture.
The fact is that as Kassi grows up, she is not going to stay away from boys. She is a beautiful, smart young woman and the boys have noticed that. So my focus as a father has changed over the years from "Boy bad, ball good" to "I must pick the right Husband for Kassi. I know you're thinking that I'm crazy for saying that I'm gong to pick her husband and in that sense, you're right. However, when I say that I'm going to pick her husband I mean that it is up to me to see to it that that she only date appropriate suitors.
I want my daughters to marry a man of God and I will do everything in my power to see to that. He must be a man, not that he has to be 6'3" and 225 lbs and can bench press 400 lbs. That isn't the definition of a man. A man, first and foremost, is a man of God. This means he is a protector, provider, leader and a teacher. He must be Godly and holy. He must put God ahead of everything.
Any boy that wants to date my daughter must not only live up to my standards but to God's standards. He will come to the door each time to pick my daughter up and he will come inside to speak with me. He will not wait in his car. He will open doors for my daughter. He will speak to her as though I were standing over them during every conversation. He will read his bible and be prepared for conversations with me about what he has been reading. He will only touch her in a way that he would as if I were with them. He will not use foul or vulgar language. He will not use alcohol or drugs. He will not associate with people that do use alcohol or drugs.
Fathers, it is our responsibility for our daughters to know what a man of God looks like. Does your daughters see you do any of the things on my list that I would not allow a boy to do to my daughter? Do they see you do the things that I said the boy should do? You want to know what kind of husband your daughter may end up with? Look at yourself. If you have a good relationship with your wife and daughter, she is going to want to marry someone like you, good bad or indifferent. Because lets face it, every little girl wants to marry her daddy when she grows up.
I love you and God does too!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Love and Babe Ruth
I ripped off Dennis Rainey yesterday so I thought I would do it again today. Here is something that I read last month and it has resonated with me ever since. One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Pet 4:8 "Above
all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude
of sins". I know in my life and my marriage, I have counted on the love of others toward me to cover my sins to offer forgiveness so I try to be careful to do the same. The story below from Mr. Rainey is a great example of what Jesus was talking about when he said we must accept the Kingdom of Heaven like a child (Matt 18:2-5).
I can’t attribute this story to its source, but a number of years ago I read a story about Babe Ruth. At the end of his legendary baseball career, the Babe had become obviously overweight. During one of his final contests, he bungled several fly balls in the outfield and struck out weakly with every plate appearance. Fans who had seen or heard about his once-proud exploits were now quick with catcalls, mocking this man who had hit twice as many home runs as anyone else in baseball.
But as the jeering got louder and louder, a little boy leaped over the railing and onto the playing field. With tears streaming down his face, he ran to the Babe and threw his arms around the legs of the fading athlete. Babe Ruth reached down, picked up the boy and hugged him tight. Then setting him down and patting him on the head, they walked hand in hand toward the dugout, while the jeers turned to cheers. Hardly an eye remained dry in the whole place.
The crowd had been correct in their assessment, of course. The Babe had let much of his athletic prowess go to seed. Yet a little boy had remembered him for who he was . . . and had covered over his errors with love.
This is not unlike what marriage was established to be -- two people saying to each other, "I know you've failed me and disappointed me at times (as I have you), but I'm still going to put my arm around you and tell you, 'I love you.' i'm on this journey with you one way or the other."
Love covers a multitude of sins...Period! It isn't pride and it isn't something you earn. God is Love (1 John 4:8) and this love allows us to forgive. Love allows us to over look someones mistakes and see them for who God sees them. God's love is what allows me to see my kids and my wife the way that Jesus sees them. Like I said to Kassi yesterday, my nature is for everything to be black and white, no gray area. It is God's love working in me that helps me to get past my human nature and see my family the way God sees them. It's God's love that lets me know that God has laid hold of (apprehended) them for a reason (Phil 3:12) and I should always do the same.
Judge not lest ye be judged (Matt 7:1)
I love you and God does too!
I can’t attribute this story to its source, but a number of years ago I read a story about Babe Ruth. At the end of his legendary baseball career, the Babe had become obviously overweight. During one of his final contests, he bungled several fly balls in the outfield and struck out weakly with every plate appearance. Fans who had seen or heard about his once-proud exploits were now quick with catcalls, mocking this man who had hit twice as many home runs as anyone else in baseball.
But as the jeering got louder and louder, a little boy leaped over the railing and onto the playing field. With tears streaming down his face, he ran to the Babe and threw his arms around the legs of the fading athlete. Babe Ruth reached down, picked up the boy and hugged him tight. Then setting him down and patting him on the head, they walked hand in hand toward the dugout, while the jeers turned to cheers. Hardly an eye remained dry in the whole place.
The crowd had been correct in their assessment, of course. The Babe had let much of his athletic prowess go to seed. Yet a little boy had remembered him for who he was . . . and had covered over his errors with love.
This is not unlike what marriage was established to be -- two people saying to each other, "I know you've failed me and disappointed me at times (as I have you), but I'm still going to put my arm around you and tell you, 'I love you.' i'm on this journey with you one way or the other."
Love covers a multitude of sins...Period! It isn't pride and it isn't something you earn. God is Love (1 John 4:8) and this love allows us to forgive. Love allows us to over look someones mistakes and see them for who God sees them. God's love is what allows me to see my kids and my wife the way that Jesus sees them. Like I said to Kassi yesterday, my nature is for everything to be black and white, no gray area. It is God's love working in me that helps me to get past my human nature and see my family the way God sees them. It's God's love that lets me know that God has laid hold of (apprehended) them for a reason (Phil 3:12) and I should always do the same.
Judge not lest ye be judged (Matt 7:1)
I love you and God does too!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Foul Ball
The aricle below is taken directly from what I read this morning in my family life devotional (familylife.com) by Dennis Rainey. This is something I am guilty of more often than I care to admit. I'm sure I was guilty of it today when I was asking my daughter why she had to go outside to get her backpack. Wouldn't life be easier if you just pick your "stuff" up when you get out of the car was my comment to her.
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise.
Ephesians 5:15
I've often wondered why more people don't get hurt by foul balls that are hit into the stands during a baseball game. You'd think it would happen almost every time, especially those line drives that carom through an entire seating section. But even on those occasions when a stray ball does leave a lump or a bruise, you can hardly blame the batter, can you? I mean, he's not out to intentionally harm anyone. It's just what happens in the flow of the game, right?
That's probably not the way Baltimore Orioles' Jay Gibbons felt not long ago when he fouled a pitch straight back over the screen. That's because this time, his wayward swing didn't threaten a nine-year-old sitting there with his cap and glove or a hot-dog vendor walking the steps or a pair of buddies taking in a game together.
No, Jay's foul ball hit his own wife right in the ribcage.
He didn't mean to. It wasn't intentional.
This story reminded me of those sarcastic remarks we sometimes let slip.
Or those little unkind things we foul off. Or those grunts we utter when we think the magazine article we're reading is much more interesting and important than what the wife is saying.
A foul ball can hurt as much as a direct hit. A fairly insignificant slight or accusation--especially when it's allowed to fester and accumulate and build on the last one--can bruise your relationship. That's why you must guard against minor, offhand offenses. Stop occasionally and go see if your words are hurting anyone--your spouse, a child or a friend.
Careless words. A lapse in judgment. Foul balls. And foul words. But whether intended or not, they can still carom with enough speed to wound and injure the ones you love the most.
Be careful with your words and choose your battles wisely. Those we love are more important than being right all the time.
I love you and God does too!
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise.
Ephesians 5:15
I've often wondered why more people don't get hurt by foul balls that are hit into the stands during a baseball game. You'd think it would happen almost every time, especially those line drives that carom through an entire seating section. But even on those occasions when a stray ball does leave a lump or a bruise, you can hardly blame the batter, can you? I mean, he's not out to intentionally harm anyone. It's just what happens in the flow of the game, right?
That's probably not the way Baltimore Orioles' Jay Gibbons felt not long ago when he fouled a pitch straight back over the screen. That's because this time, his wayward swing didn't threaten a nine-year-old sitting there with his cap and glove or a hot-dog vendor walking the steps or a pair of buddies taking in a game together.
No, Jay's foul ball hit his own wife right in the ribcage.
He didn't mean to. It wasn't intentional.
This story reminded me of those sarcastic remarks we sometimes let slip.
Or those little unkind things we foul off. Or those grunts we utter when we think the magazine article we're reading is much more interesting and important than what the wife is saying.
A foul ball can hurt as much as a direct hit. A fairly insignificant slight or accusation--especially when it's allowed to fester and accumulate and build on the last one--can bruise your relationship. That's why you must guard against minor, offhand offenses. Stop occasionally and go see if your words are hurting anyone--your spouse, a child or a friend.
Careless words. A lapse in judgment. Foul balls. And foul words. But whether intended or not, they can still carom with enough speed to wound and injure the ones you love the most.
Be careful with your words and choose your battles wisely. Those we love are more important than being right all the time.
I love you and God does too!
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