Who would have thought that I could have been inspired by
Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman? Pretty
Woman is one of my wife's favorite movies and when she stumbled onto it this
week she had to watch it. What stood out
to me was a moment in the film when Richard Gere was telling her how pretty and
smart she was. Then, he said something
like he didn't understand why she couldn't see it. She said "it's easier to believe the
bad".
That one statement spoke volumes to me. As a father with three daughters, I'm always
conscience of my daughter's self-esteem.
My wife is so very good at watching out for their self-esteem. I try to say the right things but I just
don't measure up to her. We are
fortunate to have three beautiful (inside and out) girls. But I can't help to think about all of the
pretty girls that I knew in high school that thought they were ugly. Back then, I just wrote it off and assumed
they just said that so they would hear someone tell them "you're not ugly,
you're pretty". Now that I'm older
I can look back and see, based on the way some of them made decisions, they
really did think they were ugly.
After all these years of Dateline reports, news reports, and
other studies that I've been exposed to, mostly common sense stuff I guess, low
self-esteem can cause a young woman to do things that aren't very Godly. Low self-esteem is a tool that the devil uses
against our teens to deceive them into making very bad decisions. How many teenage girls have you known that
have made some really bad decisions involving a boy that just didn't make
sense? I'll go out on a limb and say 99%
of those bad decisions are because of low self-esteem. Why?
Why does someone that is so pretty need to feel accepted by a boy so
badly that they will do anything to win his approval?
The fact is that the devil will use one single thing to tear
a teenager down. For some reason, no
matter how much good that has been said about you and to you, it only takes one
bad thing to shake your self-esteem.
Like Julia Roberts said "it's easier to believe the bad". That's why, as a parent, we MUST tell our
children how good, pretty, or smart they are.
Starting from the day our kids can understand what we say we must give
them positive reinforcement. Because
there is going to come a day when some immature boy or girl tells them "you’re
not as pretty as you think you are" or they aren't going to win the
starting position that they've worked so hard for. You can be guaranteed that there will be
times that will shake your child's self-esteem.
It happened to me and I bet it happened to you. When that time comes, will there be enough
good that it makes it at least harder to believe the bad?
Dad's, your daughters HAVE to know (not just think or
wonder) that you think they are the prettiest girl alive. They have to know that you believe in
them. Mom and Dad, they have to know
that when the chips are down, they have parents they can go to who will help
them and pray with them. You must teach
them what it means to be "fearfully and wonderfully made" Psalms
139:14. I know it's hard but we have to
teach them that God's acceptance is the only acceptance that they need. Dad's, I know it's hard for us to pay compliments
sometimes. I don't know why, it just
is. But for your children's sake, we
must do a better job of complimenting them.
And above all, pray, pray, pray. Build a hedge of prayer around your children
to help protect them from the bad that the devil is going to send their way.
I love you and God does too!
