The Bible says to confess your faults to one another (James 5:16)....so here goes.
I could turn this into such a long story but the short story is that I got threw out of a high school gym on Tuesday night after my daughter's basketball game for talking to referees. Yes, you read it right and I'm not exaggerating I was talking to the referees, not yelling and certainly not cursing or threatening. Specifically, I asked them several times "did you know you were going to take the game away from the girls before the game or did you decide it at half time"? Well, I suppose if you have a guilty conscience, this doesn't sit well so one of the referees tossed me. Don't worry, I went willingly and without a fuss. I actually knew what I was doing and had a feeling that these ref's would toss me. Such is life.
Now what does this have to do with a Christian blog? Well, not much. What does it have to do with a Godly man's life? Quite a bit. I'm actually having an internal struggle because each time I think of one reason why I was wrong, I think of a reason why I was right. I didn't turn the other cheak but at the same time I let a lot of things go without losing my cool. I feel bad because I didn't forgive them immediately for doing my daughter wrong but at the same time, they didn't repent and ask me for forgiveness. I didn't act in love toward the referee's but I did act out of love by defending my daughter. So which is it? Was I right or wrong?
I'd love to hear some of your opinions. Want to know mine? Well, let's just say that I'm not looking their names up to apologize any time soon :)
I know this is out of the norm for me but this is what's going on. I encourage you to handle yourself the way God would want you to.
God loves you and I do too!
Well John, thanks for sharing your challenge so openly. I believe you are doing God's work and his will when you share perspective on challenges that you face... And so you asked the question - "Was I right or wrong?"
ReplyDeleteObviously I was not there and even so, it's not for me to judge you... but at your invitation, I will share a few thoughts on your comments...
I believe that daily, every personal encounter we make is for a purpose. I believe that God puts you and me and quite frankly, all humans into the lives of others (and them into ours) for a specific reason... either for me to learn something positive from them / them from me / or both of us to learn something positive from each other. It sounds as if this didn't have to be a negative situation... it could have just been really poor officiating enjoyed by none.
Also, when I think of being a man of God, I think of being an honorable, respectful son of God in EVERY situation. This pursuit of perfection is indeed difficult and perhaps impossible... but as I read your account, it seems to me that you are making a case to justify your actions.
So here's my question for you, if God were sitting right next to you during this game - He was just as visible and engaging as anyone else within an arm's reach away... would you have acted the same way? Would you have continued to ask the same accusing question?
Even though you obviously disagreed with the calls and the job the officials were doing, did you show them the respect that we should show to all of God's sons and daughters? If these guys were murderers, I would certainly understand the difficulty in falling short of an honorable response... but these guys are just doing a job, even if poorly. Would you want someone at work asking you "did you know you were going to blow the project before you started it or midway through it?" again, and again...
People are watching us all the time. You and I are Christians and men of God. At the same time we are human just like everyone else. You face some of the same challenges and trials as everyone else. Make an effort to suffer well. There is honor in suffering well... When we suffer well, others see how we as Christians deal with adversity and we bring glory to God. When we face adversity (large or small) we have such an opportunity to bring glory to God.
Jesus suffered well and he bore far more trying circumstances and is far more capable to make instantaneous changes. Yet He suffered well for you and me.
I know there are times we should 'take the bullet' for our loved ones, but from your account of the game, I'm not certain of how you were defending your daughter. Some may have judged that this type of response - to the point of being thrown out of a gym - may have been over the top and even embarassing to you, your daughter and family.
You know we all probably remember the WWJD (What would Jesus do?) bracelets that were everywhere 10 years ago... It's still a good question. I'm chuckling here as I write this... but I don't think JC's behavior would have gotten him thrown out of the gym! :)
I challenge you to "suffer well".
Stay in Christ Brother. You are doing God's work. God bless you and your family.
Billy Gay
I had hoped that someone would leave their honest feedback, thank you Mr. Gay. I can't argue with much of what you say so I won't try. There are a couple of points that will be fun to talk about so here goes:
Delete1) Would I have acted that way if God were physically there with me.
Well, yes. I would have. That of course assumes I'm answering in the spirit of the question. Realistically, if God were there in person, basketball would have been the last thing on all of our minds.
2) Would JC's behavior gotten him thrown out of the gym?
Well, it got Him thrown out of the temple. Just kidding of course. And the answer is no, His behavior would not have gotten Him kicked out. He is much wiser than me and would have worded His displeasure with the referees in such a way that they would have felt good about it. Had these ref's been Christian, Jesus would not have been happy with them because they weren't living out Prov 16:3, Col 3:17, Col 3:23.
3) Was I defending my daughter?
She thought so and that is all that matters to me. She was the one that got hammered 3 times at the end and the ref's turned a blind eye. So when I expressed my displeasure, she definitely felt like I was taking up for her. Perception is reality.
4) Was I an embarrassment to myself, my family, or to my daughter's school?
Nope. Handled myself in the same manner that I would have at work. I was not disrespectful with my tone, nor did I draw attention to myself. Maturity goes a long way. I can't say that I would have been so calm 20 years ago.
Hey John. Thanks again for being so open with your thoughts. I hope I didn't upset you or your daughter. By your points #1 & #4 above, it sounds like you have nothing to confess regarding this particular situation and no need to worry about James 5:16 here. I was responding because I must have misunderstood your initial posting that indicated that you felt a bit of uncertainty & perhaps remorse over how you handled the event... my mistake and apologies. If there's nothing to confess, then it's all good! God is Great! In Christ's peace, Billy
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DeleteNot at all Billy, I really appreciated your feed back and you hit the nail on the head with some of your comments. And the items that I refered to were your questions, and as you can tell, I had fun with them as you had with making some of them.
DeleteThat's the great thing about being a Christian. People think that everything Christian must be staunch and stuffy but that isn't true at all. We don't have to be serious all the time and it's OK to have good fun with each other. We both found some humor in our comments. It's also OK for one brother to give feedback to another when it is solicited.
Thanks again for your feedback. Check out my post today to see how this situation ended up. All things work to the good for them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
To be brief, I was not embarrassed in the least. I was proud of my dad. I wouldn't have had it any other way, my dad sacrificed seeing my game tonight to take up for me when I needed it most. He did it in a Christian-like manner, and his daughter could not be more proud to say that John Knight is her daddy.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter Kassidi, ladies and gentlmen. What an awesome daughter! To me, it is great to have your 15-year old daughter as one of your biggest fans. Not many 15-year olds love their parents the way Kassi does....Thanks Kass!
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