Early this week when I took Kassi to school, I dropped her off at Mary Blount Elementary. When we left our house on Bingham Lane, we kissed Kim and my baby Kalli goodbye. As I walked Kassi into Kindergarten, we talked about all the fun things she would do that day. She gave me a big kiss and a big hug when we got to her class room.
When I got home from work, Kim and I sat at the dinner table with my 6 year-old Kassi and my 17 month old Kalli. Kassi told us about her day. I asked if she had any boyfriends and she said "daddy, I'll never have a boyfriend because I'm going to marry you when I grow up". At this moment, if you were in my mind, you could hear the loud sound of screeching tires coming to an abrupt stop in my head. THAT WASN'T LAST WEEK!!! THAT WAS 10 YEARS AGO!!!
Oh my how time flies. It really does seem like yesterday that my kids were so young. Now, Kassi is 16 and Kalli is 11 and we brought Kelsi into the mix a couple of years ago. It still amazes both Kim and me that we a) have three kids b) one of them is 16 and c) one of them is 2. An 11 year-old maybe, surely we are the right age for an 11-year old. But I feel way to young for a 16 year-old and way too old for a two year-old.
It seems like just early this week, I didn't have to worry about Kassi dating because she was going to marry me and live with Kim and me forever. I know that was just early this week, had to be. Last night, reality sunk in as Kassi and I sat watching her boyfriend play football. When did this happen??!! Early this week, it seemed like my worries about Kassi were "I hope the other kids don't make fun of her for being too tall", "Kassi is a loner, I hope she learns to make friends", "I hope the teacher is good to her", and "I hope she talks to other kids about Jesus". My worries have changed significantly. Now my worries are "I hope Kassi stays away from boys", "I hope Kassi stays away from boys", "I hope Kassi stays away from boys"...I think you get the picture.
The fact is that as Kassi grows up, she is not going to stay away from boys. She is a beautiful, smart young woman and the boys have noticed that. So my focus as a father has changed over the years from "Boy bad, ball good" to "I must pick the right Husband for Kassi. I know you're thinking that I'm crazy for saying that I'm gong to pick her husband and in that sense, you're right. However, when I say that I'm going to pick her husband I mean that it is up to me to see to it that that she only date appropriate suitors.
I want my daughters to marry a man of God and I will do everything in my power to see to that. He must be a man, not that he has to be 6'3" and 225 lbs and can bench press 400 lbs. That isn't the definition of a man. A man, first and foremost, is a man of God. This means he is a protector, provider, leader and a teacher. He must be Godly and holy. He must put God ahead of everything.
Any boy that wants to date my daughter must not only live up to my standards but to God's standards. He will come to the door each time to pick my daughter up and he will come inside to speak with me. He will not wait in his car. He will open doors for my daughter. He will speak to her as though I were standing over them during every conversation. He will read his bible and be prepared for conversations with me about what he has been reading. He will only touch her in a way that he would as if I were with them. He will not use foul or vulgar language. He will not use alcohol or drugs. He will not associate with people that do use alcohol or drugs.
Fathers, it is our responsibility for our daughters to know what a man of God looks like. Does your daughters see you do any of the things on my list that I would not allow a boy to do to my daughter? Do they see you do the things that I said the boy should do? You want to know what kind of husband your daughter may end up with? Look at yourself. If you have a good relationship with your wife and daughter, she is going to want to marry someone like you, good bad or indifferent. Because lets face it, every little girl wants to marry her daddy when she grows up.
I love you and God does too!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Love and Babe Ruth
I ripped off Dennis Rainey yesterday so I thought I would do it again today. Here is something that I read last month and it has resonated with me ever since. One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Pet 4:8 "Above
all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude
of sins". I know in my life and my marriage, I have counted on the love of others toward me to cover my sins to offer forgiveness so I try to be careful to do the same. The story below from Mr. Rainey is a great example of what Jesus was talking about when he said we must accept the Kingdom of Heaven like a child (Matt 18:2-5).
I can’t attribute this story to its source, but a number of years ago I read a story about Babe Ruth. At the end of his legendary baseball career, the Babe had become obviously overweight. During one of his final contests, he bungled several fly balls in the outfield and struck out weakly with every plate appearance. Fans who had seen or heard about his once-proud exploits were now quick with catcalls, mocking this man who had hit twice as many home runs as anyone else in baseball.
But as the jeering got louder and louder, a little boy leaped over the railing and onto the playing field. With tears streaming down his face, he ran to the Babe and threw his arms around the legs of the fading athlete. Babe Ruth reached down, picked up the boy and hugged him tight. Then setting him down and patting him on the head, they walked hand in hand toward the dugout, while the jeers turned to cheers. Hardly an eye remained dry in the whole place.
The crowd had been correct in their assessment, of course. The Babe had let much of his athletic prowess go to seed. Yet a little boy had remembered him for who he was . . . and had covered over his errors with love.
This is not unlike what marriage was established to be -- two people saying to each other, "I know you've failed me and disappointed me at times (as I have you), but I'm still going to put my arm around you and tell you, 'I love you.' i'm on this journey with you one way or the other."
Love covers a multitude of sins...Period! It isn't pride and it isn't something you earn. God is Love (1 John 4:8) and this love allows us to forgive. Love allows us to over look someones mistakes and see them for who God sees them. God's love is what allows me to see my kids and my wife the way that Jesus sees them. Like I said to Kassi yesterday, my nature is for everything to be black and white, no gray area. It is God's love working in me that helps me to get past my human nature and see my family the way God sees them. It's God's love that lets me know that God has laid hold of (apprehended) them for a reason (Phil 3:12) and I should always do the same.
Judge not lest ye be judged (Matt 7:1)
I love you and God does too!
I can’t attribute this story to its source, but a number of years ago I read a story about Babe Ruth. At the end of his legendary baseball career, the Babe had become obviously overweight. During one of his final contests, he bungled several fly balls in the outfield and struck out weakly with every plate appearance. Fans who had seen or heard about his once-proud exploits were now quick with catcalls, mocking this man who had hit twice as many home runs as anyone else in baseball.
But as the jeering got louder and louder, a little boy leaped over the railing and onto the playing field. With tears streaming down his face, he ran to the Babe and threw his arms around the legs of the fading athlete. Babe Ruth reached down, picked up the boy and hugged him tight. Then setting him down and patting him on the head, they walked hand in hand toward the dugout, while the jeers turned to cheers. Hardly an eye remained dry in the whole place.
The crowd had been correct in their assessment, of course. The Babe had let much of his athletic prowess go to seed. Yet a little boy had remembered him for who he was . . . and had covered over his errors with love.
This is not unlike what marriage was established to be -- two people saying to each other, "I know you've failed me and disappointed me at times (as I have you), but I'm still going to put my arm around you and tell you, 'I love you.' i'm on this journey with you one way or the other."
Love covers a multitude of sins...Period! It isn't pride and it isn't something you earn. God is Love (1 John 4:8) and this love allows us to forgive. Love allows us to over look someones mistakes and see them for who God sees them. God's love is what allows me to see my kids and my wife the way that Jesus sees them. Like I said to Kassi yesterday, my nature is for everything to be black and white, no gray area. It is God's love working in me that helps me to get past my human nature and see my family the way God sees them. It's God's love that lets me know that God has laid hold of (apprehended) them for a reason (Phil 3:12) and I should always do the same.
Judge not lest ye be judged (Matt 7:1)
I love you and God does too!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Foul Ball
The aricle below is taken directly from what I read this morning in my family life devotional (familylife.com) by Dennis Rainey. This is something I am guilty of more often than I care to admit. I'm sure I was guilty of it today when I was asking my daughter why she had to go outside to get her backpack. Wouldn't life be easier if you just pick your "stuff" up when you get out of the car was my comment to her.
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise.
Ephesians 5:15
I've often wondered why more people don't get hurt by foul balls that are hit into the stands during a baseball game. You'd think it would happen almost every time, especially those line drives that carom through an entire seating section. But even on those occasions when a stray ball does leave a lump or a bruise, you can hardly blame the batter, can you? I mean, he's not out to intentionally harm anyone. It's just what happens in the flow of the game, right?
That's probably not the way Baltimore Orioles' Jay Gibbons felt not long ago when he fouled a pitch straight back over the screen. That's because this time, his wayward swing didn't threaten a nine-year-old sitting there with his cap and glove or a hot-dog vendor walking the steps or a pair of buddies taking in a game together.
No, Jay's foul ball hit his own wife right in the ribcage.
He didn't mean to. It wasn't intentional.
This story reminded me of those sarcastic remarks we sometimes let slip.
Or those little unkind things we foul off. Or those grunts we utter when we think the magazine article we're reading is much more interesting and important than what the wife is saying.
A foul ball can hurt as much as a direct hit. A fairly insignificant slight or accusation--especially when it's allowed to fester and accumulate and build on the last one--can bruise your relationship. That's why you must guard against minor, offhand offenses. Stop occasionally and go see if your words are hurting anyone--your spouse, a child or a friend.
Careless words. A lapse in judgment. Foul balls. And foul words. But whether intended or not, they can still carom with enough speed to wound and injure the ones you love the most.
Be careful with your words and choose your battles wisely. Those we love are more important than being right all the time.
I love you and God does too!
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise.
Ephesians 5:15
I've often wondered why more people don't get hurt by foul balls that are hit into the stands during a baseball game. You'd think it would happen almost every time, especially those line drives that carom through an entire seating section. But even on those occasions when a stray ball does leave a lump or a bruise, you can hardly blame the batter, can you? I mean, he's not out to intentionally harm anyone. It's just what happens in the flow of the game, right?
That's probably not the way Baltimore Orioles' Jay Gibbons felt not long ago when he fouled a pitch straight back over the screen. That's because this time, his wayward swing didn't threaten a nine-year-old sitting there with his cap and glove or a hot-dog vendor walking the steps or a pair of buddies taking in a game together.
No, Jay's foul ball hit his own wife right in the ribcage.
He didn't mean to. It wasn't intentional.
This story reminded me of those sarcastic remarks we sometimes let slip.
Or those little unkind things we foul off. Or those grunts we utter when we think the magazine article we're reading is much more interesting and important than what the wife is saying.
A foul ball can hurt as much as a direct hit. A fairly insignificant slight or accusation--especially when it's allowed to fester and accumulate and build on the last one--can bruise your relationship. That's why you must guard against minor, offhand offenses. Stop occasionally and go see if your words are hurting anyone--your spouse, a child or a friend.
Careless words. A lapse in judgment. Foul balls. And foul words. But whether intended or not, they can still carom with enough speed to wound and injure the ones you love the most.
Be careful with your words and choose your battles wisely. Those we love are more important than being right all the time.
I love you and God does too!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Prison Ministry - Day 2
After a great day at Little Sandy on Saturday, we were looking forward to an even better day on Sunday. Sunday, was our second and final day in KY and we were at Eastern KY penetentury. I always try to to share Jesue when I can on these trips but generally, we only have enough players for one team so while the players play against the inmates we have several dedicated men that do nothing but walk the yard and share the gospel. We stop playing a couple of times each day to share the gospel when we get a crowd.
Sunday morning at breakfast, I was asked to "share" during one of these breaks on Sunday. Sharing the gospel is why I do prison ministry so I was fired up Sunday morning. God had given me a message to share a couple of weeks ago so I was ready. The message God had given me was simply telling about 4 men that I know. I won't give names or details because some of you may know who I'm talking about but I have 3 friends that have done time in prison and are now dead. As I told about each man, one at a time, I shared their stories about their lives and how they died. I shared that one man was definitely in Hell right now. I also told them that I was uncertain about the eternities for the other two because they had no fruit in their lives.
Then I told them about a fourth man, my best friend. A man that told me that anytime I was tired, not sleepy tired but tired of the world, I could come to Him and He would give me rest. This man died for me so that I could spend eternity with Him and His dad. I explained that all we have to do is believe that He died for our sins and believe He rose on the third day, then we could be saved. This "belief" that the Bible talks about isn't the kind of belief that we have in something because we think it to be true. But this kind of "belief" is the kind of belief that we have that our mother is our mother. We don't remember her giving birth to us but because she has always been there, we truly believe she is the one that gave birth to us. That is the kind of belief in Jesus that it takes to be saved.
When I got done speaking, I simply told them that now is their opportunity to know where they will go when they die because they aren't promised tomorrow. 12 men got saved. God was truly working in this prison before we ever got there. I did nothing, it was all the Holy Spirit.
We were about to start playing when this man, a mountain of a man came up to me. Now I don't want to stereotype but just by looking at him, he would not be my first choice for a baby sitter. This guy was obviously making good use of the weights. He was built a lot like Ray Lewis, just tougher. When he came up to me, he just said "I was the first guy you talked about". He told me how he has always been willing to fight at the drop of a hat. He said that he wanted to know where he was going when he died and he has always known about Jesus. He said he has always known he needed to get saved but thought he had to clean up first. During my talk, I shared that we don't make our selves well before we go to the doctor and we don't fix our car before we take it to a mechanic. Neither do we have to "clean up" before we come to Jesus. His name was Ed and his humility truly touched me.
Have you made that decision? Do you know that you know you are saved? If not, please contact me and I will tell you how to be saved.
I love you and God does too!
Prison Ministry - Day one
This past weekend I went on a prison ministry trip to KY. For anyone that doesn't know what I do, I go with a team of men from Sevier Heights Baptist Church into prisons in TN, KY, AL, and FL. We play softball against the inmates and tell them about Jesus. We get to spend time with them and build relationships. I know that there are people out there that believe we should be doing other types of ministry because criminals "shouldn't get extra privaleges". The fact is that in Matt 25 Jesus is pretty clear regarding prison ministry.
Saturday, we saw several men saved. I was a little disappointed because as of the last 1/3 of the day, I hadn't made a difference in anyone's life. We were at Little Sandy prison and we had gone in for dinner at 3:30. After dinner we had another 90 minutes before we could go back out to the yard where the softball field is so this gave us more time to spend with the prison softball players. Our team and theres did different things to pass the time. Some played basketball, some played corn-hole and some just hung out and talked.
I was tired so all I felt like doing was sitting so I found an inmate to talk to. I sat down with a guy named "Blue". Blue and I talked for about 30 minutes about softball. Then the Holy Spirit began to move on both of us. Blue is from a town just outside of Memphis so I asked him what brought him to Kentucky. He said "well, running dope and murder". Thats when Blue opened up. Blue is 41 and has been in prison for 19 years for murder. He was saved in October of 2011 and for the last 6 months there has been strange things happening in his life. He has found himself to be more compassionate to people and he is able to forgive when just a few years ago, there is no way he would forgive. With all of this, there was still something wrong. He said that he wanted to be closer to God but something wasn't right.
The Holy Spirit immediately revealed to me that He is working on Blue and that's why he has saw the recent changes. He also showed me that the reason Blue is unsettled is because he hasn't forgiven himself. I didn't beat around the bush. When I brought it up, we spoke for a second and then he started crying. He said "look at me! what's wrong with me, I've never cried before". Blue acknowledged that he had so much remorse for his crime that he doesn't think it is possible for him to forgive himself. I explained to him that if he got saved God has forgiven him and he agreed. I told him that by not forgiving himself, he is exalting himself above God and we talked about that for a while.
When it was time to go back to the field I knew that God had worked through me and through Blue. God was so good to us this weekend. If God can provide hope to an inmate that is facing 7 more years to life in prison, imagine what he can do for you if you let him.
I love you and God does too!
John
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